he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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