I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
