Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
