No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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