Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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