come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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