I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize