when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
