if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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