I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
