Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
