I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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