I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
they need to just BURY HIM!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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