chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
