you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
