Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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