He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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