addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
