forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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