why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
