someone threw a dead crab at me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dick very happy bro
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
