the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dick very happy bro
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
