apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My feet surprised me
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