Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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