And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
