This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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