who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
