I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
