Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.

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(847): View more from Illinois

If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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(301): View more from Maryland

Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.

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(360): View more from Washington

I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby

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