No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
