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morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
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