Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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  (631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2
  Replies (14) Good night (5198) Bad night (907)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

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  (248): Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace. http://tfl.nu/fcle
  Replies (20) Good night (10830) Bad night (1423)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.

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  (515): mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money. http://tfl.nu/cehx
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (3406)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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  (724): Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am. http://tfl.nu/emfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2508) Bad night (905)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol

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  (910): can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol http://tfl.nu/846v
  Replies (5) Good night (2349) Bad night (1305)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.

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  (937): Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule. http://tfl.nu/t3gw
  Replies (6) Good night (1517) Bad night (687)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions

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  (504): I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions http://tfl.nu/9mik
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (547)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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  (913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2
  Replies (7) Good night (1569) Bad night (698)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.

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  (740): We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well. http://tfl.nu/ojjo
  Replies (5) Good night (1374) Bad night (540)
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  (510): View more from California

  I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.

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  (510): I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it. http://tfl.nu/j8q4
  Replies (1) Good night (1107) Bad night (453)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.

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  (+44): I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks. http://tfl.nu/6xxg
  Replies (0) Good night (990) Bad night (526)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,

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  (479): I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women.., http://tfl.nu/6j57
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (350)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

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  (802): Can you bring me the toilet please http://tfl.nu/af5u
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (500)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever

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  (416): Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever http://tfl.nu/xryc
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (362)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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  (425): The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house. http://tfl.nu/wynr
  Replies (4) Good night (613) Bad night (401)

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