The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
