Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
