no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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