i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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