babies were throwing up all over the place
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
