so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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