we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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