just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
