wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
