there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
