wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
