i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
