The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
