before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
