hotel room ftw
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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