I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
