I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
