In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know her cup size but not her name....
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