big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
