It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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