i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sober January is a disaster.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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