The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
