1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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