i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
