I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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