Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
