Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
