DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
