I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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