It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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