Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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