we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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